


our memory will be my lullaby

by sorrow_key



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Affection through violence, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Parents, it's Alice and Oz after all, loss - free-form, lullabies - free-form, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 21:38:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15615585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorrow_key/pseuds/sorrow_key
Summary: “Why, thanks, Alice.” Oz grins. “Lacie was… In some ways, she was like you.”“Like the amazing me? How?”“She was a little cruel, for that matter.”Alice stomps her foot on Oz’s head for that until his eyes water, even as he laughs at her. Ha! That'll teach him.(a conversation before the end of all things; in which unknown mothers are talked about and songs are sung.)





	our memory will be my lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Sing Me To Sleep by Alan Walker, a beautiful melancholy song recommended by a friend I don't talk to much anymore<3

“Hey Alice, did you know?”

Oz tells her once, when it's late and Gil has left to make food or talk about strategies or whatever it is he does without them after Oz for once let him insist on bedtime.

“What?” Alice asks sullenly because that's just what the mood around here has been lately. Too many injured and dead, too many secrets revealed, and not nearly enough meat.

“I knew your mother. Back then, when I was still a toy.”

“Is that so,” she replies, not quite interested except for how she knows Oz has been sad lately, too, and she cares about Oz. 

“Do you want me to tell you about her?”

Alice feels strange about this. The only things she knows about Lacie are from Jack, who turned out to be so obsessed with her, and the Will, her twin, who was so obsessed with Jack.

Now that she remembers, she remembers not caring to know about the dead.

But now that she remembers forgetting, she remembers wanting so badly to know what she was missing.

“Why? It doesn't matter, I never even knew her at all… You're the one who's lost your parent.”

“Still. I never knew my mother either… and it's because of what I lost that I think that if you want to know, it's important.” Oz runs his fingers along Alice's braid. ”I never wanted you to feel unimportant because of me.”

Alice's insides feel a little like overly gooey meat. She scoffs.

“Hmph. It's good you remember the importance of your master! I will generously allow you to tell me about her.”

“Why, thanks, Alice.” Oz grins. “Lacie was… In some ways, she was like you.”

“Like the amazing me? How?”

“She was a little cruel, for that matter.”

Alice stomps her foot on Oz’s head for that until his eyes water, even as he laughs at her. Ha! That'll teach him.

“Although she was more subtle about it than you.”

Alice glares at him suspiciously - was that another insult? But Oz’s expression doesn't change at all from its genuine fondness. It's the least sad he's looked in a while. So she lets him continue.

“She used to complain to me, tell me things she didn't tell anyone else… Because I couldn't reply or tell anyone about them, probably.”

Oz grins like he's sharing an inside joke.

“Like you, she was kind, and didn't like to show it. Although she was much better at hiding her feelings than you are, Alice.”

Alice bristles. “If all you're going to do is talk about how my mother was better than me, then I don't want to hear about her anymore!”

“No!” Oz exclaims, startled and concerned. ”That's not what I meant at all.”

He shows her a smile so soft it almost hurts.

“I like this about you. You do what you feel like doing without reserve, in a way I never could. And if I couldn't see your kindness and your pain, how could I be there for you?”

Oz stares up at the ceiling with half a smile.

“And beside all that, to me, there's no one comparable to Alice.”

Alice feels very hot inside. It's edging on uncomfortable.

“...Oz,” she says, with crossed arms and an inscrutable look in her eyes, “why are you talking like this?”

He looks straight at her at that, eyes widening in surprise. Then his eyes sink to the side with a smile that isn't happy at all.

“I guess with so many people dead and in danger… And the world possibly ending, I don't want there to be misunderstandings about what people mean to me.”

Alice grabs Oz's chin harshly. His eyes lock back on hers.

“But you're not going to die,” she says confidently. “And neither am I.”

Oz sinks into that crooked smile again. “You already are, though.”

Alice shakes Oz's head. His neck creaks audibly. “Well, I'm still here! And as long as you are here, I will be too. You are my contractor, after all.”

Oz smiles again, brightly this time. It's fake, as most of his smiles are these days, but it's convincing enough that Alice lets him get away with it. She's generous like that.

“Of course,” he says.

Alice squeezes his chin one last time for good measure, hard enough for her fingers to leave their pink mark, so that Oz doesn't forget it, and finally lets go, satisfied.

They are here, they are real in all the ways that matter, and if Alice has anything to do with it, it will remain that way.

“You didn't finish telling me about her,” she says, turning her back to Oz.

“Hm, is there anything even left to tell,” Oz says, with an exaggeratedly stupid voice. 

Alice hits him in the side for his antics. “Then you barely know anything about her at all!”

“Ah, stop!” Oz shouts, laughing again for some reason. “I remember something else.”

Alice halts.

“There's a song she used to sing all the time. She had a beautiful voice. I think it would've made for a great lullaby for you, if things had been different.”

And because Oz looks nostalgic and a little sad again as he says this, because even though back then, Alice hadn't missed her mother at all - Oz and her twin, the Will, and Oswald and even that annoying guy, Jack, they had been enough for her, - even despite that, her throat feels clogged up for some reason, Alice lets herself fall on the bed and demands:

“Then sing it to me!”

“Eh?” Oz blinks, flustered.

Alice smiles, self-satisfied, and congratulates herself on her great idea.

“She's not here anymore, but you are! So sing me this lullaby of hers!”

“Alright then,” Oz says, positioning himself closer to her, “I'll do my best.”

And he sings, a familiar, strange disjointed song that is neither quite happy nor quite sad, until Alice falls asleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> Funnily enough, this was inspired during talk about oz/elliot/leo, I thought how it would be hilarious if Oz could accompany their piano playing by singing Lacie
> 
> But if anyone deserves to hear this song, it's Alice<3
> 
> Also I'd apologize to Elly for posting Alice-centric stuff on ao3 on his b-day, but honestly, Alice would appreciate it and I'm all for that<3
> 
> Second also, as shameless selfpromo, please check out my Elliot appreciation ficlet on Tumblr under the nick whatevsbla


End file.
